The Messi Theorem

Lionel Messi is the best footballer of all time. Not Pele, not Maradona, not even Zidane. Lionel Messi is without a doubt the greatest footballer ever. But this isn’t a blog about sports. The Messi Theorem is much much bigger than sports.

Just how did The Messi Theorem come about?

Earlier this year, I was discussing relationships & the women in our lives (hey boo, if you’re reading this, I meant to type woman. I swear) with Nugi. We were talking about the doubts & the what-ifs men sometimes have, which often leads to discontent. You know, you have an amazing girl but somehow you’re still restless because you’re not sure there isn’t someone out there who’s just a little better for you. Somewhere along the line he goes:

With all the girls I’ve had things with, the ones I dated, the ones I didn’t date, the ones I only talked to, the ones I only censored, the ones I only observed from afar, whenever I mentally compared them to her, she has won every single time. It’s like Messi on FIFA. He’s not the best at ANYTHING. Walcott is fastest, Ronaldo has best Jump, Hulk is stronger, Neymar is a better dribbler, and Schweinsteiger has best endurance. BUT it’s Messi you want on your team. And that’s the thing with her. The whole package? She wins easily. There were finer girls, Better worshipers [of God o.. not him], more fun loving girls, better communicators, etc. But as a whole package? She won.

Bingo! Basically, that other person might be more attractive than the one you’re with. They might be more successful. More spiritual. They might have less followers on twitter (YES, this is a serious issue). Might be more/less clingy depending on what you want. But as a whole, when you look at the entire package, “Messi” has to win every single time.

Messi has scored 19 goals this season. Luis Suarez (who is indisputably one of the best strikers in the world right now) has scored 23. But if both players were willing to play for your team and you could only pick one, Messi has to win.

The next time your wandering eye causes you to risk losing Messi for another, think of how you would feel watching Messi wear another team’s colors, knowing you could have prevented it. That other “hot” player right now? It’s probably just a flash in the pan. Messi has been tried, tested, and proven. Messi has been loyal. Messi has worked hard.

Messi. Is. The. Complete. Package.

Messi is who you want on your team, and if you have Messi, you would do anything to keep Messi. It doesn’t matter what the salary demands are, hell you’d even offer Messi a blank cheque if that’s what it took. Robben is a great player. Ibrahimovic is a fantastic player. But if you had to pick one, anyone with half a brain would pick Messi every. single. time.

Now ask yourself, of all the members of the opposite sex in your life, is the person you’re with (or the person you want to be with) Messi?

You’re welcome…

25 thoughts on “The Messi Theorem

  1. ranchosblog says:

    Preach man. Preach!!!!


    The whole of the ‘right’ woman is greater than the sum of her parts, every single time. But guys have long-throat…

    One last thing. Messi isn’t even the best Argentine player of all time, much less the best player of all time. All his goals are not up to one-third of what Pele/Romario scored.


  2. highlandblue says:

    LOL I think this article will get ladies to hate you or to love football.

    I sometimes wonder if ladies have a check box like this. It seems these days like it’s not as long as the items on the male list.

    I should write a reply to this from the female perspective, using Mourinho as the Special One. But I am only a Mourinho fan and not a female 😦

    Well done

    • jinxchrys says:

      I honestly can’t speak for all of the female folk, but yes, we (the girls I hang out with) have check boxes just like this.
      Sometimes, for whatever complicated reason or the other, we’ve wished the Messis we have in our lives weren’t there, but after all all said and done, we pick them any day

  3. bonieluv says:

    Lol. Good way to start my day. What about a case where you wanna think about your Messi but you end up making someone your Messi?

  4. @olicipher says:

    I’m not quite sure about ‘having’ a Messi. No one is in this world to meet my expectations, and neither am I here to meet anyone’s; but if we findeach other suitable, then it’s all gravy. I think no one is indispensible. should I be worried about this mindset?

  5. skilobo says:

    That’s how I thought I found my own Messi, till she asked for a transfer request. Appaz, I was like a Moyes to her Man U. #NoSparksπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

  6. JOK3R says:

    Brilliant honestly. Yes my current now is the Messi of my life. (I’m currently dating FIFA 13) not a single care in the world.

    I’m sad yes

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