A couple of months ago, I had a series of conversations with a friend (Hey O!) about among other things, love. One thing led to another, and she basically reaffirmed an annoying truth I already knew, but refused to admit: Some things you do not fully process/understand/really know how you feel until you write about them. So she challenged me to write about something I didn’t even want to discuss. My first love.
I hadn’t written in years. And to resume the habit, I was going to write about what I thought was the most personal thing to me at the time. I ended up splitting the story into 3 parts, and I guarded it religiously. I let very few people read it. But then I realized that suddenly, it didn’t matter to me anymore. Writing about it truly brought me closure even though I honestly believe I’d been over the situation for years. Still, while it was now easier to discuss, it still wasn’t my favorite thing to discuss.
Then came the end of my Spring Semester. I was in a really bad space mentally, and it had affected my school work. So as the week of my final exams approached, I realized I needed all the extra credit I could get. Now my American Literature teacher (who I had taken in two previous classes & have an amazing relationship with) gave the option of submitting original, never-been-previously-published written work or photography for the English department’s publication. In the last class, my “photography” was ruled out, so that wasn’t an option. Plus, I didn’t have time to write anything new, so I butchered what at the time was the most private thing I ever wrote. Changed names, locations, etc, and turned it in for extra credit. I had guarded it for so long, and yet I submitted it to possibly be published. Believe me, the irony is not lost on me lol.
I have at least 3 different write-ups in my drafts I’m just not ready to post yet I haven’t written in a while, I thought I’d post the first part of the story. It got me back to writing, It’s the only one with a happy ending, and it is probably the only one I will ever be able to post.
Names & dates & locations are still changed, but it’s not as butchered as the version I submitted for extra credit (that still kills me) is. And for the most part, it’s pretty much the same story. Enjoy.